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RECOLLECTIONS OF CHILDHOOD 145
Not a single sound reached our bed-room from the
drawing-room; but I could hear the servants
preparing their supper in the kitchen near by. They were
rattling knives and plates; the maids were laughing
and chattering. "Every one is merry, every one is
happy, only I alone—"
At last, after the lapse of what seemed to me
several eternities, a loud ring at the bell resounded
Mama and my aunts had returned from their
dinnerparty. I heard the hurried steps of the lackey, as he
went to open the door; then loud, cheerful voices
resounded, as they always did when our people
returned from any entertainment.
" Probably Dostoévsky is not gone yet. Will
Aniuta tell mama what has happened now, or to-morrow,"
I said to myself. And then I distinguished his voice
among the others. He was taking leave, making
haste to depart. By straining my ears I could even
hear him putting on his overshoes. Then the front
door slammed again, and soon afterward Aniuta’s
resounding footsteps came down the corridor. She
opened the door of the bed-room, and a bright stream
of light fell full on my face.
This light hurt my tear-swollen eyes by its
intolerable brightness, and the feeling of physical enmity
to my sister suddenly mounted to my throat.
" The disgusting thing, she is rejoicing," I said
bitterly to myself. I soon turned to the wall to pretend
to be asleep. Aniuta deliberately placed the candle
on the commode, and then approached my bed, and
stood there for a few moments in silence.
I lay there motionless, holding my breath.
" I can see that you are not asleep," said Aniuta at
last.
I still remained silent.
10
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