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76
SÖNYA KOVALÉVSKY
seriousness and attention. She was blushing all
over, even her little neck, and her little bare arms
were crimson.
I stared and stared at her, and suddenly—I swear
that even now I do not know how it happened—
something terrible took place. It was exactly as if
some one were urging me on. Without stopping to
think what I was doing, I suddenly, quite unexpectedly
to myself, fastened my teeth in her bare, plump little
arm, somewhat above the elbow, and bit her until I
drew blood.
My attack was so sudden, so unforeseen, that for a
moment all three of us remained stupefied, and merely
stared at each other in silence. Then all at once Olya
gave a piercing shriek, and her scream brought us all
to ourselves.
Shame, wild, bitter shame, took possession of me.
I fled headlong from the room. "Hateful, wicked
little girl!" my uncle’s angry voice called after me.
My customary refuge in all the great griefs of my
life was the room which had formerly belonged to
Marya Yasilievna, and which was now allotted to our
former nurse. There I now sought safety. Hiding
my face on the good old woman’s knees, I sobbed for
a long time; and nurse, seeing me in this condition,
lavished endearing names upon me without inquiring
what was the matter, but only stroking my head.
" God be with thee, my dear bright little one. Calm
thyself, my own," she said, and in my excited state of
mind it was very soothing to me to be able thus to
have a good cry on her knees.
Luckily my governess was not at home that
evening. She was gone on a visit to some of our
neighbors for a few days. Therefore no one thought of me.
I could weep my fill with nurse. When I had become
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