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164 Brieux
her son must succeed in the world. He must ac
quire social standing and position; that cannot be
had without money. When Lucle pleads with her
that after all the Bernins themselves had begun at
the bottom, and that it did not prevent their being
happy, Mme. Bernin replies:
No, no; we are not happy, because we have worn our
selves out hunting after happiness. We wanted to
"
get
on,"
and we got on. But what a price we paid for it!
First, when we were both earning wages, our life was
one long drudgery of petty economy and meanness.
When we set up on our own account, we lived in an
atmosphere of trickery, of enmity, of lying; flattering the
customers, and always in terror of bankruptcy. Oh, I
know the road to fortune! It means tears, lies, envy,
hate ; one suffers and one makes other people suffer.
I have had to go through it: my children shan t. We ve
only had two children : we meant only to have one.
Having two we had to be doubly hard upon ourselves.
Instead of a husband and wife helping one another, we
have been partners spying upon one another; calling one
another to account for every little expenditure or
stupidity; and on our very pillows disputing about our
business. That s how we got rich; and now we can t
enjoy our money because we don t know how to use it;
and we aren t happy because our old age is made bitter
by the memories and the rancor left by the old bad days ;
because we have suffered too much and hated too mucL
My children shall not go through this. I endured it that
they might be spared.
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