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The Pigeon 221
unfit
"
and to supply learned professors with the
means of comfortable livelihood.
Yet there is Ferrand, the vagabond, the social
outcast who has never seen the inside of a uni
versity, propounding a philosophy which very few
professors even dream of:
Ferrand. While I was on the road this time I fell ill
of a fever. It seemed to me in my illness that I saw the
truth how I was wasting in this world I would
never be good for anyone nor anyone for me all
would go by, and I never of it fame, and fortune, and
peace, even the necessities of life, ever mocking me. And
I saw, so plain, that I should be vagabond all my days,
and my days short ; I dying in the end the death of a dog.
I saw it all in my fever clear as that flame there
was nothing for us others, but the herb of death. And
so I wished to die. I told no one of my fever. I lay out
on the ground it was verree cold. But they would
not let me die on the roads of their parishes They
took me to an Institution. I looked in their eyes while
I lay there, and I saw more clear than the blue heaven
that they thought it best that I should die, although they
would not let me. Then naturally my spirit rose, and I
said :
"
So much the worse for you. I will live a little
more." One is made like that! Life is sweet. That
little girl you had here, Monsieur in her too there is
something of wild savage. She must have joy of life.
I have seen her since I came back. She has embraced
the life of joy. It is not quite the same thing. She is
lost, Monsieur, as a stone that sinks in water. I can
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